I have exactly 9 days of working left before my two weeks come to an end. After 2+ years which feel more like 10, I’m ready to go out with a bang. My last shift is on Father’s Day *groan* and outside, so it’s bound to be a hectic nightmare. I’m stoked. Since I have another job lined up, and most of the people I really care about there are gone or leaving, I’ve decided to take any suggestions regarding how I should go out in my own personal blaze of glory. I have come up with the following ideas though, give me your thoughts:
1. At the end of the shift I go out to the fountain in the courtyard behind Brio and ever so dramatically rip off my shirt ala Shawshank Redemption.
2. Take tray with two lasagna pans on it (they’re 22 pounds each) and angrily fling it at pillar thus creating a horrifying lasagna explosion all over dining room.
3. Pick a fight with a guest. Like, a physical fight that I will surely loose and possibly be arrested for.
4. Have sex on a table. Oh wait, employees already did that here…
5. Get ridiculously drunk. I’m talking, obvious vodka breath, fall asleep in a booth mid-shift drunk.
6. Steal as many things as possible. Hey, who couldn’t use a few dozen wine glasses and enormous steak knives?
7. Eat food off of guests plate.
8. Cut out the crotch underneath my apron. Give last table horrific glimpse of red snapper.
9. Sneeze, hack phlegm, or flick boogers on guests. Be as physically repulsive as possible.
10. Answer cell phone at tables mid-order like I’m a phone-sex operator.
Any other ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for playing.
everyone at work votes for #8. that’s like 30 some votes!!!
i have three votes for number ten, curtousy of los angeles co-workers