Today I get called in to my new job to help clean up, and as I’m exiting the parking garage right by the restaurant, I hear someone call my name, a familiar voice that I never particularly wanted to hear again. It’s Richard, an asshole ex boyfriend. And it’s the first run in with him since he decided that he was “in a bad place”, dumped me abruptly, and disappeared off the face of the earth for weeks.
Needless to say I was stunned, and unhappy, tremendously unhappy. I never wanted to see this asshole again, I had spent over a year being uneasy whenever I went into certain bars, restaurants, or even his part of town, out of fear that I would run into him and I’d have to experience what I was currently going through. So he calls me over, and the small non- bitchy part of me complies, crosses the street and starts talking to him with a smile. Not a real smile of course, but more of a nervous, uncomfortable, “I’m in hell” sort of smile you give when you’re required by social norms to be polite, but are really just wanting to run away or watch this person’s scrotum be ripped off by an enraged badger. But I digress….
So the conversation is very short, I made sure of that, and is basically me describing my wonderful life with my boyfriend. He seems genuinely happy to see me, and acts as if nothing unpleasant ever happened between us. Dick.
The only solace I have is knowing that at that moment I looked fabulous and chic, and he had apparently gained weight, all in the front part of his stomach. He resembled a pregnant man, very odd… Best of all was the fact that I had absolutely no attraction to him whatsoever. I came out on top! I was the victor! If only for a moment…
I briefly mention that I’m on my way to work and he says, “Oh really? My office is right here.” (points to building behind him) FUCK!!!!!!!!!
With what I believe to be a visible twitch or shudder I manage to squeak out “Oh really? I guess we’ll be neighbors then.” DOUBLE FUCK!!!!!
I spent over a year miraculously dodging this prick all over the city and now we’ll be working within a quarter block of each other?!? Really?!? How could this possibly suck any more? Oh yeah…. that right, he’ll “come in and have a beer sometime.” And judging by his socially unacceptable lack of remorse for being such a terrible dick to me, I’m sure that he sees nothing wrong with continuing to make my life miserable by having to see him whenever he feels thirsty.
OH MY GOD. That totally sucks. I wish I had something I could say to comfort you, but honestly, God has really shit on your head with this one…
At least maybe it will make you happy to know that I just bust out laughing at the scrotum/badger comment. I don’t think I’ve ever heard my feelings for an ex summed up so perfectly.
Good luck with this one…
same. what is it about badgers attacking scrotums that make you laugh? it’s so benign! ha ha!
but I am sorry also Friend. that’s sucky that you are basically at his mercy if he were to come in for a drink. just hope that its really busy when he comes in, and you can dismiss him to talk to others.